13Saul died for his unfaithfulness to the Lord because he did not keep the Lord’s Word. He even consulted a medium for guidance, 14but he did not inquire of the Lord. So the Lord put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David son of Jesse.
(1 Chronicles 10:13-14 CSB)

I have to say these have been a trying couple of weeks! So much so that I have allowed grief to sidetrack me from writing my weekly post! Yes, I’ve kept up with social media but that’s not the same as my blog post. My heart has been in turmoil. It’s been affecting my appetite. My sleeping. All I was able to do was fall to my knees. Desiring something for the last eight years. Finally, I thought it was coming to fruition. My wait is over. My longing has reached its end. Then, as it had surprisingly started, surprisingly it’s gone! Just like that! Perplexed.

I’m still passionately believing that God had spoken to me 3 years ago. A month after that He answered a long-desired prayer. I really thought that this was my season. So, what just happened? How did it do a 180° turn? Did any part of it make a difference? As I pondered these questions, I was more confused than ever before. None of it made sense. In fact, it contradicted everything, and I do mean everything that transpired the last fifteen weeks. Every event.

Have you ever wanted something and just when you thought it was your time, it becomes ashes?

Although I was sad, I never questioned God about it. Instead I sought counsel from others. “Do you think I actually heard from God? Why do you think this happened the way it did? Do you think I’ll have another opportunity for this to happen again? Would God leave this desire in my heart knowing how much I longed for it? If so, what do I do with that?” None of them were able to offer the peace I needed. I was asking people instead of going directly to the Throne and sharing my heart with Him. That’s not what He wanted from me. Turn to Him!

For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you. We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.
(Colossians 1:9 CSB)

I knew that God had been with me even though I couldn’t understand. I was trying to capture all the tears while God’s grace was upon me. Two sisters in Christ contacted me. Each said that the Lord had placed me in their hearts to pray for me. They didn’t know what to pray for. Only that they were burdened to do so.

I shared my plight and received a wealth of love, kindness, and support. Amid our conversations, I shared that God had asked me to do something nearly three weeks ago that’s going to take me a few weeks to do and I obeyed. And that the day before they called me God asked me to do the same thing again as I’m still doing the first task, however, this would be for a shorter period and would be more difficult. Nonetheless, I obeyed. I’m not always as obedient as I want to be, but I do try my best to adhere to His word.

He’s the One who created me, knows me, and holds all things together!

Within the following few days, God had two others in Christ contact me. Each stating the burden they felt in their hearts to contact me. Praying for me. Four people in eleven days. One of them rarely picks up the phone to speak to someone he doesn’t typically engage with. I just knew that God was sending them to comfort me. To let me know He hears me. To tangibly show me I’m not alone.

Who among you fears the Lord and listens to His servant? Who among you walks in darkness, and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord; let him lean on his God.
(Isaiah 50:10 CSB)

Being in the dark can be tormenting. You have no idea what is ahead of you and what is behind you. Attempting to find your way through can lead you to stumble. No direction. No path to lead the way. Nothing to grab onto. As a result, often we find ourselves in a ditch. We strain our vision in search of any glimpse of light to rescue us.

When facing difficult seasons, regardless of what it looks like or how it came to be, we tend to manage things independent from God. Our current circumstances and what the future may hold is contingent upon what we decide to do and how do we do it. Often, especially in situations that are out of our control, we fail at every attempt to yield the desired outcome. We have an unquenchable desire to know, discern, and understand all that happens around us. Yet the inability to master that task trumps all of our efforts.

Only God is Omniscient!

Asking others to share their insights into our circumstances will never reveal what God is doing. They just can’t! Only God knows what He’s doing. What He’s working on. What promises He’s fulfilling. Others may of course be genuine and but will be clueless. The best they can do is pray, be kind, and support us in our critical moments. I thank God I was blessed to have that from these four son and daughters of Christ Jesus!

Dear friends, don’t overlook this one fact: With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day.
(2 Peter 3:8 CSB)

Oh my! Waiting is so hard! I mean can anyone agree with that?! It is the most difficult place to be! I know that feeling all to well. And I don’t like it! All kinds of thoughts go through our minds. You know why? Because the enemy is always at work! He’s searches day and night to see who he will devour. And he will devour. There’s always someone who isn’t able to stand up to him. Not that they can’t. They just don’t know how to.

So many suggestions are offered. Some aligned to God’s word. Others are not. You find yourself tormented by the thoughts that plague your mind. Will this situation come to life again? Do we remain hopeful? Can we endure the waiting period? We seem to think that God’s timing is the same as ours. Or worse yet. It’s off! But it’s not. The Bible is clear on that. His timing is always perfect. So how do we interpret it? We don’t. we could never understand it. We must just learn to be patient. A fruit of the Spirit that doesn’t come easily to us.

Our Creator is Omnipotent!

Scripture tells us that just as the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than ours, and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). We could never comprehend the thoughts of the Almighty God who created the vastness of this universe with every intricate detail within it! The One who created humanity and its perfectly designed bodies. The One who has told the oceans where to stop at the seashores. How do we determine all that He’s doing in us? For us? Through us? We must wait patiently. Trusting God to do what is best for us. If we give up hope, then we give up on our faith in Him who died to set us free! So, we must wait on the Lord. In the process may we be obedient in All areas of our lives because He’s knows our every move!

1I will give You thanks with all my heart; I will sing your praise before the heavenly beings. 2I will bow down toward your Holy Temple and give thanks to Your name for Your constant love and truth. You have exalted Your name and Your promise above everything else. 3On the day I called, You answered me; You increased strength within me.
(Psalms 138:1-3 CSB)

We wonder if beauty will rise from these ashes. It doesn’t seem possible. If doubt was nonexistent, then trusting God would be easy. No brainer. Done. No opposition. No problem. But! It does exist and we must fight our flesh. We must fight against it. Doubt often brings fear and fear is paralyzing! I know! I’ve lived it! We can’t feed into it. Because when we do, we lose the battle that also had the potential to be won through Jesus Christ.

I could never afford to buy what He’s willing to give me!

But what is it that is being waited for during this season? Does that desire align with His will or ours? It should always be our Father’s will. Think of your child, younger sibling, a parent, or anyone you may be caring for. Would you be inclined to not help them or not provide a needed solution for something that will assist them in their progression of life? Of course not! At least I hope you wouldn’t! But if the petition made to us is something that isn’t good for them, then we would deny the request. Well, neither will our Father withhold the blessings that already have our names on them. And me personally, I want every one that has my name! Because I know He always wants what’s best for us. These are great gifts and I don’t want to miss out on them!

Therefore, we must be intentional to align our will to His will. No ifs and/or but! God can’t go against Himself and what He will bless us with, will always be better than we could think, dream, or imagine! In all seasons of our lives we’re called to praise our Lord and Savior. It doesn’t matter what the moment looks like. After the confusion, praying, fulfilling a double task, being prayed for, there’s a peace that surpasses all understanding upon me. Within me. I’m praying for His will to be done and not mine. I know that He’s faithful to His children! He’s greater than anything I can ever have in my life!

Is your desire aligned with God’s desire and are you waiting patiently and obediently for what God has for you?

Dear Lord Jesus, we humbly come before Your Throne of grace. Please forgive us for not coming to You first for counsel. Please forgive us for not aligning our will to Yours. Please forgive us for our impatience. Over and over we want to go before You and it leads us into problems that could have been avoided. Our flesh is weak, but You are strong. Holy Spirit strengthen us with Your wisdom, discernment, and ability to do what You call us to do. May we learn that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces the hope we need in Christ Jesus. But Holy Spirit, apart from You, we can’t do this. We need You in all of it. I thank You for all the things You’re working out in our lives Lord. You are our Way Maker, Miracle Worker, and our Promise Keeper. We love You!

It is in Your Son’s Name Jesus Christ we pray.                                                                                Song: Come And Tear Down The Walls
Amen.

God bless you and yours.
I love you.

In His Grip,

Esther

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