But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!(Acts 3:6 ESV)

I’m driving to Walmart and all I can think about is how I don’t see the point in doing this anymore. It just doesn’t make sense. I haven’t seen the fruit from the seeds I’ve been trying to plant since last year. I should just quit. Stop investing my time and monies trying to build what I believed God placed in my heart.

It’s a beautiful summer day here. But in need of additional supplies for face masks, I find myself looking at a plethora of supplies that I don’t need but certainly want! Then the downpour! A nearby fellow shopper and I locked eyes. Raising her hands toward the roof bewildered said, “Where did that come from?” “That’s exactly what I was just thinking!”, I responded in shock. Just a moment ago a beautiful sunshine above us. Now torrential rain drenching everything it touched.

We were two moms with anxious hearts.

We briefly spoke and then parted ways. Within moments she returned to me asking if I would pray for her son who is away in another state, alone, and had been in an auto accident that morning. Her phone in hand as she awaits news. “Of course,” I said. Instead of going home to pray I invited her to join me in prayer, right there in that moment. It didn’t matter that we’re still in a season of a pandemic. We held one another and brought her pleas to the Throne of the Almighty. Eyes closed. Heads bowed. Loud voice commanding the enemy to flee and thanking God for all He’s about to do.

Making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ.
(Ephesians 1:9 ESV)

Unbeknownst to me, as I contemplated not writing on this blog anymore, not finishing my book anymore, God made it clear to me that this is what I’m to do. At least for now. This season. As I was preparing to embark on my trip to Walmart, Jesus already knew that this mom with a heavy heart would be there totally unaware that she’s waiting for me. She’s worried knowing her child, even though he’s a grown man, he’s still her child, is alone. A believer, but alone.

In that moment as I touched her despite CoVid-19, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. I knew in my heart that she and I were covered in the Blood of Jesus! No need to fear. The Spirit of God is hovered over us, protecting us as we came together as sisters in Christ praying for the grace and mercy of God to be imparted on her son. It was an honor to know that the Lord chose me to meet her in her place of need.

The Lord orders our steps.

The encounter she and I experienced with one another was no accident. It did not happen by chance. It was a divine appointment. Orchestrated by the Holy Spirit. His will. His plan. His glory. A story to be later told demonstrating not only His power but also how He communicates with us when we’ve come to a crossroad. That’s exactly where I was when I left home that day. At a crossroad.

16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, He may give it to you. 17These things I command you, so that you will love one another.
(John 15:16-17 ESV)

I was feeling purposeless. Believing the enemy’s lies that there’s no need for me to continue to blog. Share how God has impacted and changed my life. How He has brought me from death to life. But no one cares to know that. Everyone has their own woes to contend with. So, it’s pointless. After all, why would He give me that assignment? Why? I certainly couldn’t see my contribution in any of it. I just wanted to call it quits. Give up. Don’t even bother anymore. Gratefully those were my thoughts but noy His!

God uses those who doesn’t feel worthy.

God specifically chose me for this task. I didn’t choose it. I was chosen. Why? I don’t know. But He knew I would. And I did. All I understood in that moment was that I had purpose. An opportunity to be a vessel for the Kingdom of God. Someone who wanted to love my neighbor. Someone to exemplify the love of God. The love that saves us from ourselves. The love that resurrects us from the ashes that we never think could once again have life.

Overwhelmed when I left the store, I couldn’t stop thanking God for the gift of being available for someone else. In my own sadness, He used me. He showed me that though my feelings were real (because God doesn’t dismiss what dwells in our hearts) I’m still important to Him. And so is she. He uses our suffering to bring comfort to those who are suffering.  When we allow ourselves to abide in Jesus and He in us, we bear fruit. The fruit of love.

8For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 9For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV)

Our fleshly nature wants results in the here and now. We don’t do well in the waiting room where God often has us as He is doing what only He can do. Waiting is difficult. In fact, it’s hard work! It requires to be still and trust God. To believe that He’s working. To expect somewhere, somehow, someone will be impacted by what God has placed in my heart to share.

God is our Father, not the other way around.

But where does it say in the Bible that obedience to carry out a calling will yield an immediate result? It doesn’t! Unfortunately, our limited abilities to hone in on what our eyes can see negates what God is doing behind the scenes. We tell ourselves nothing is happening because it would have been evident in some way. There would be signs of some sort. Improvement. Healing. Jobs. Promotions. Restoration. Reconciliation. Deliverance. Name the situation. A change would be seen. Right? Wrong! No matter the season. No matter the circumstance. God is working. Therefore, we can’t dismiss what He calls us to do. We can’t give up. Regardless when we don’t understand what we see and don’t see. We must trust that He sees. He knows. That has to be enough.

He isn’t obligated to give us updates on all that He’s doing in us. For us. With us. Some things take time to see the fruit of what we’re called to do. I’m so blessed for that because I remember the process of my adoption into His sonship through Jesus Christ, it didn’t happen overnight. It took years. Imagine if my delay to blossom would have prompted God to give up on me? Where would I be today? Dead! But His love endures forever. He chose me out of love and not because there was anything impressive about me. I don’t want to ever lose sight of that. He’s patient. He doesn’t leave us nor forsake us while we’re trying to find our place with Him.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.(Ephesians 2:10 ESV)

Ever since I was a little girl, I always believed I wasn’t important. I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t this and I wasn’t that. These beliefs led me on many paths of destruction. Wanting to feel differently but unable to conform. I was always searching but unable to what awaited me. So how can I be enough for what God is leading me to do?

I am a co-heir to Jesus Christ.

As I began my journey with Christ, my belief was I’m a sinner saved by His grace. Or should I say, just a sinner saved by His grace. The word “just” was a stumbling block in my faith. It was hindering me from seeing the truth about me. Not my truth. God’s truth. His word says that I am His workmanship. It says that I’m His masterpiece. The Spirit that rose Jesus Christ from the dead lives in us. In me.

I’m not “Just” a sinner saved by His grace. I am the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21). The Lord is working in my life every day. By His grace He shows me His truth about me. I am worthy because He died so that I may live. AMAZING! I must be intentional to choose believing God’s truth about me over what the world has tried to teach me. I AM CHOSEN!

Are you chosen?

Dear Lord Jesus, thank You so much for Your love that You so freely give to us. We would be lost and dead without it. Forgive us for jumping to conclusions of not being enough when You died on the Cross because we are enough. Your sacrifice deems us worthy. Help us Lord live into that freedom. Help us Lord impart that to our neighbors. Help us Lord believe Your truth and not our false beliefs. We aren’t a “just” anything. We are children of our Almighty God. We are co-heirs to Jesus Christ. May we daily walk on the path You’ve laid out for us. May we answer YES every time You’ve planted seeds in our hearts to harvest for Your kingdom. Lord please continue to orchestrate Divine Appointments enabling us to be a blessing to those we encounter.

It is in Your Son’s Name Jesus Christ we pray.                                Song: Echo
Amen.                                                                                                        Available

God bless you and yours.
I love you.

In His Grip,

Esther

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