“Yet now God has reconciled you to Himself through the death of Christ in His physical body. As a result, He has brought you into His own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault.” (Colossians 1:22 NLT)

I can’t believe this has been so difficult! One challenge after another! My heart’s been burdened with a burning desire to blog about my journey with Christ. But I’m technologically inept! I’m clueless how to start and where to go. How many stories can I write about? After fervent prayer and some research, I was able to launch a platform to share His amazing love. However, opposition faced me at every turn.

Let’s just say that my typing skills are elementary at best. But the task that lies ahead seems daunting. Trying to design a web site that’s pleasing to God, myself, and my readers has often tempted me to give up. Feelings of inadequacies and inability to accomplish this commission has left me in tears. Consumed by thoughts that I can’t do this. Creating a site is so complicated! I’ve never taken any web design courses to aid in this venture. I don’t know anyone who can assist me. Hiring an expert seems foreign due to extremely limited funds.

Amid all of this, I can feel Him prompting me to continue moving forward. Not knowing how, who, when, where, and for that matter, why a misfit like me, but I know giving up isn’t an option. I’m clearly reminded of the enemy’s tactics. He squirms when we’re propelled toward God’s Kingdom. Regardless of how that may look like, whenever something is done for His Name sake, it’s a strike against the enemy who roams the earth like a roaring lion always in search of someone to devour.

Scriptures tell me about the enemy’s desire is to conquer the flesh. The only way for me to be watchful is to be of sober mind and body. In the absence of diligently guarding myself against the snares of satan (not worthy of a capital S), I’m subject to temptations that will infiltrate my thoughts and heart. He’s the tempter of all evil and wickedness.

The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV)

Everything in life is quantified by how much it’s valued. I must remind myself that my life’s worth was measured by the ultimate price of Jesus dying on the Cross for me. Therefore, God doesn’t care how aesthetically pleasing my site is. He isn’t moved if the text is grammatically incorrect. His sole request is for me to share with the world His existence and the profound impact He has on each of us. Understanding all of this should be a no brainer, right? But then…

Mid-March my ex-husband suffers Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) and Atrial Fibrillation (AFib). Our daughters and I were concerned and conceded he shouldn’t live alone anymore. So, we moved him in with me and our youngest daughter, (I know! What was I thinking?!) but unfortunately, he had to immediately return to his home to avoid contracting shingles that our daughter was stricken with. Then two weeks to the day of his CHF he had appendicitis. As if this wasn’t enough, three later he suffered a moderate stroke. Okay by now I’m looking up and asking, “What’s up with all of this Lord?”

I’m not sure what concerned me more. Was it him being so ill? Was it him moving in with us after being apart thirteen years? The anxiety associated with that. He’s still the same person I ran away from! Despite our past, I knew that I had to do the right thing. Adhering to God’s obedience had to take precedence over how I felt about this new living arrangement. Of course devoting time to my blog was now being compromised.

My mind murmured sounds of defeat. What I envisioned didn’t correlate with my reality. How was I going to persevere? That seemed to be the million-dollar question.

And there it was. The circumstances I faced was worth a million dollars. Yes, that’s more than I’ve ever seen in my life! But Jesus didn’t believe our lives were worth this amount. In fact, He never stated any dollar amount. Instead He demonstrated that our lives were then and are now and forever will be priceless and worth dying for, reconciling us to Him by paying our debt of all our sins with His physical body. His love mirrors the investment He made in us and it transcends throughout time. He never would’ve given up on me. How can I give up on Him?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
(Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

There’s no doubt that I must overcome and push forward. Trusting in Him that somehow, some way I’m going to press through. It’s imperative I stay on course. Regardless of how long it takes and the difficulties that will be presented. This is a season when there’s a lot on my plate and none of it is food that will nourish my soul. Nonetheless, as I immerse myself in His word, I feel His presence. His voice calls my name and I’m strengthened to rise above that which hinders progress. I’m determined that even in the madness, His peace will drown out those utterances that surround me. There’s no doubt that now is the time to be a voice for His Kingdom.

so I sent messengers to them with this reply: “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should I stop while I leave and go down to you? (Nehemiah 6:3 NIV)

Staying focused requires being intentional. There isn’t anything or anyone that I’m to allow the ability to interfere with this project. I may not always be where I’d like to be and that’s OK. However, it’s critical I remain on task as must you. Jesus’ declaration of the value our lives are worth cultivates the will to persevere for His name sake. With all He’s done for me, this is the least I can do for Him. He’s worthy of it all. In the presence of my enemy, I’ll worship a Hallelujah to my Almighty King!

His death brought me into His presence, holy and blameless, without a single fault!

This isn’t a declaration of being perfect. When we repent, surrender, and place our faith in Christ, God sees us “in” Christ. As a result, He forgives us eternally and gives us a place in heaven.

What about you?  Is there something in your heart you’ll want to see come to fruition? Are there obstacles in your way hindering the completion?

Lord Jesus, I could never thank You enough for reconciling us to You. It’s a priceless gift. My heart desires to show the world why You mean so much to me, but it’s been challenging. I believe You have a purpose that surpasses my understanding and therefore allowed these circumstances to arise. Knowing You’re in control and that You love me, us, fortifies my soul with the peace I need to endure these moments. It’s only through You that we’re able to persevere. Please strengthen us with Your will and desire and may our hearts abide in Yours. May we confront the challenges and execute the plans you have for us.

It is in Your Son’s Name Jesus Christ we pray.                                            Song: See A Victory
Amen.

God bless you and yours.
I love you.

In His Grip,

Esther

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