Divine Appointment
I’m driving to Walmart and all I can think about is how I don’t see the point in doing this anymore. It just doesn’t make sense. I haven’t seen the fruit from the seeds I’ve been trying to plant since last year. I should just quit. Stop investing my time and monies trying to build what I believed God placed in my heart. […]
When Hope Doesn’t Die!
Committing murder doesn’t always render your residency behind steel bars within a state prison. Sometimes that takes place within your heart. Your mind. Your soul. Surrendering to a hopeless sentencing with no acquittal in sight. You’ve tried to kill it off. Bludgeon it to death so that it wouldn’t be able to resurrect and occupy that space that you need to make available for future plans. To God. To the places I pray He will take me to. […]
Come Tear Down These Walls
I have to say these have been a trying couple of weeks! So much so that I have allowed grief to sidetrack me from writing my weekly post! Yes, I’ve kept up with social media but that’s not the same as my blog post. My heart has been in turmoil. It’s been affecting my appetite. My sleeping. All I was able to do was fall to my knees. Desiring something for the last eight years. Finally, I thought it was coming to fruition. My wait is over. My longing has reached its end. Then, as it had surprisingly started, surprisingly it’s gone! Just like that! Perplexed. […]
Am I Giving It All To You?
I found myself facing two choices. Wanting to trust God through both. A web of great confusion and doubt. Either one will certainly deliver a harsh sting. I want to avoid the pain but can’t. It’s inevitable. I think I know what to do, but I don’t. I want to do what is right, but I don’t know what that is. I haven’t been able to discern God’s will for this. Up late at night with lights out. Hoping to hear something on the music station that will enlighten my heart. […]
When I Look To The Right Or To The Left
My head is just all over the place. Thoughts reiterating it’s never going to happen. How do I know what God is doing? All I see is that it has gotten worse. The flesh waging war on my mind. Taking advantage of my vulnerability. Knowing exactly what I need to be said to bring me down on my knees, wondering when? Will You ever show up Lord? I’m unable to affirm His truth by what my eyes sees. By what my ears tell me. By what my hearts feels. The Flesh. […]
Do We Know All We Think We Know?
My heart’s racing! A feeling I don’t want to remember but unable to forget. But God spoke to me! I know I heard Him say it’ll be over in two years and then He will give me the desire of my heart! As promised, He brought back to me something I’ve long for. I’ve waited obediently. Yet, amid the excitement, fear is crippling my attempts to trust God for what He said He would do. Wondering if I imagined all of this? […]
What Is Our True iDentity?
No matter where I turn, there’s the noise clamoring for my attention. Driving me away from the hope of glory and into the presence of chaos, destruction, division, and hate. As if life hasn’t been and continues to be hard enough coping through the invisible enemy, CoVid-19. Now it a visible foe, hate. Seen everywhere, far and wide! Birthed in the mind and worn on the colors of our skin. The heart in unison with my Pastor, who today shared the sentiments of many others. […]
When We Don’t Consider The Ramifications!
As I watch the videos across broadcasting stations and social media platforms, I can’t imagine what he thought and feared as he laid there with knees pinning him to the ground. Knowing that death was imminent! What were his last thoughts as he cried out to mama? Were there any regrets of things done and undone? How was he affected by CoVid-19? What were the dreams he desired to live into? What legacy did he leave behind? So many unanswered questions. […]
Is That You Lord?
Opening my eyes to a brand-new day. Although I’d prefer to not think, my mind always raced into the wilderness I’ve been living into for the past five years. It’s been such an arid place that just doesn’t seem to harvest anything but grief. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. Year after year. It’s toxic and as difficult it has been, I couldn’t muster the strength and peace to tear myself away from it. […]
When Was The Last Time?
I was getting sick and tired of him telling me how to live. It’s been eight years since our father has passed and, in my heart, I always knew that the day would come when we’ll no longer have any contact. And that it would be my doing. Because being cut off from those I love had become the norm in my life. […]
The Similarities Between Hate And Love
As I ponder what I would do if they’d killed my daughter that night, I’m consumed by rage. Hate in my heart. I can’t imagine any of them getting away with it. No matter the cost, her name would forever be etched in their memory. I’d make sure to that. I don’t how but I’m resourceful, and I’d certainly find a way. If I had to search high and low, no problem. I. Will. Find. Them. They. Will. Pay. A judge will find them guilty and they’d be sentenced for life without parole! […]
Why O God Why?
As my phone rings, the last person I expected to be on the other end would be my beautiful daughter. She just left our home to meet with her boyfriend. New Year’s Eve festivities looming everywhere. Tomorrow night the beginning of a brand-new year! It’s always so amazing thinking about all the things that has happened and those yet to come. But never in all my thoughts did I the unimaginable! […]
Why Should I Trust You?
The world around was shaking. An earthquake. Everything had shattered to smithereens! Life as I had lived it, was forever changed. Nothing would ever be the same again. An anguish unknown to my being had invaded every fiber of my existence. I was drowning in a relentless cascade of tears. My body in a paralytic state cementing me to my living room floor. The chambers of my heart that sheltered my deepest loves had experienced an acute myocardial infarction. At any moment is was going to exhaust its last thump. […]
The Unbearable Loneliness
As I hear him speak concerns of fear, my heart sinks aware of so many identifying with him. “I don’t want to die. Not now anyway.” Words that have echoed throughout these past few weeks from near and far. The inability to be accompanied, hugged on, even touched by someone you love has forever been transformed into a colossal awakening of how fragile we are. “If I get sick and hospitalized, I’m alone. No one would be there for me”. The depth of that wound echoes into the abyss. I knew in my soul that if I’m made aware of such plight, I would never allow him to be consumed with the loneliness he has met face to face. […]
Is There Resurrection Without a Church?
Never in my life could I have imagined what has come to fruition. It’s something I’ve seen in movies, read in books, but never lived out. Unprecedented. That’s what was, is, and continues to be said! UNPRECEDENTED! Just in case it wasn’t understood the first time! Life as I knew it has changed. Everything is different. Across the communities. Across the cities. Across the states. Across the seas. […]
Is the “Good News” Really Good News?
I awoke in the middle of the night feeling overwhelmed. So many things clamor for my attention. An upcoming move. Anticipating tears of sadness since I’ve never lived in another state apart from my adult children. Still struggling with more tears as I mourn the losses of broken relationships that are woven deep in my heart. Disappointment of comparing myself to others. In need of a job when I arrive to my new residence. Frustrated from the difficulties of the numerous pitfalls from launching this blog all because I have this profound longing to share the Good News with the world, telling the amazing goodness of God’s love. […]
Can Good Actually Come From Evil?
I couldn’t drive to my sister’s home in Queens fast enough as I’m listening there’s a second plane hitting the twin towers. At first, I thought it was a terrible accident. The radio announced that at 8:46 am, Flight 11 crashed into the North Tower at 1 World Trade Center. But then, the unimaginable happened! At 9:03 m, Flight 175 crashed into the South Tower at 2 World Trade Center. […]
How Am I Honoring My Parents?
She and I were never able to see eye to eye. Nothing was agreeable between us. This so called “relationship” had sadly been one that harbored resentment from early on. At about age four, mom called me into the kitchen, “Drink this.” I reached for the cup and was mortified. “Mom, No! I hate hot milk. You know I do. I can’t drink it. I hate it!” I was nauseated by the smell alone! The mere thought of tasting it was about to send me to the bathroom vomiting! […]
Lord, What Truly Dwells in My Heart?
I didn’t know whether to laugh, retaliate, or cry. With a frown he says, “OK rule number 144!” There’s been a constant of do’s and don’ts (on my part). ‘This isn’t done this way. It must be that way.’ No mercy in between. No grace. My way or the highway. Those are my thoughts. The inability to see our vast differences prior to sharing my home is costing an immense price. […]
The Essence of Unconditional Love
For the longest time there was a void in my heart I couldn’t identify. Alien yet familiar. Having lived in its shadow as far back as I can remember. The need to have it had been greater than my ability to dismiss its existence. It didn’t matter how old I had become. I yearned for it! The desire to taste and see its goodness always escaped me. My efforts to secure it were fruitless. My mother’s love. […]
Does the Value of My Existence Cultivate Perseverance?
I can’t believe this has been so difficult! One challenge after another! My heart’s been burdened with a burning desire to blog about my journey with Christ. But I’m technologically inept! I’m clueless how to start and where to go. How many stories can I write about? After fervent prayer and some research, I was able to launch a platform to share His amazing love. However, opposition faced me at every turn. […]
Did My Resurrection Matter?
Easter had always been a day filled with excitement! My daughters looked forward to dyeing their eggs. An abstract collection of beautiful images with blended colors. No two were ever the same. The egg hunt was equally engaging. They would scramble throughout our home in the attempt to find as many as possible. One trying to outsmart the other. But their greatest expectation were their Easter baskets! […]