The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (Proverbs 29:15 ESV)
For the longest time there was a void in my heart I couldn’t identify. Alien yet familiar. Having lived in its shadow as far back as I can remember. The need to have it had been greater than my ability to dismiss its existence. It didn’t matter how old I had become. I yearned for it! The desire to taste and see its goodness always escaped me. My efforts to secure it were fruitless. My mother’s love.
I pondered what was wrong with me? Did she love me? Was I wanted? It’s inexplicable that nothing I’ve done was ever good enough. Always obliged to state my faults (till this day). Instead of correcting my rebellion (from my parent’s divorce), I was moved out at age 12. Unbeknownst to me, there commenced my downward spiral of poor decision making in the attempt to fill the emptiness of my broken heart. Sadly, a teenage pregnancy and my inability to exemplify what a nurturing mother should be to my beautiful innocent daughter.
Unfortunately, pointing the finger to the one who was supposed to guide and protect me seemed just. It’s all her fault. However, as I began to immerse myself into His Word, His truth, verses describing characteristics of the essence of love jumped off the page. Why was that? I couldn’t understand. A lesson I needed to learn. Who was I to judge her?
With the passing years, the importance of experiencing a nurturing bond between mom and I became overrated, and subsequently, decided I didn’t need it! But the irony is that it was something my heart continued to seek. In all the wrong places. In all the wrong people. In all the wrong things. LOVE.
Love is patient and kind; loves does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
God was speaking to my heart. He helped me understand what love is and isn’t. Filled with sorrow, knowing that I need to know more about Him. He’s giving me a new set of lenses. Revealing to me not everyone is equipped to offer love to another human being. Mom had a challenging childhood.
Truthfully I don’t know the scope of her young experiences. My sole awareness is that her father was a harsh man and her mom suffered for it. Love was kept in the chambers of my mom’s heart. The only evidence of its existence were the provisions given to her but never the kindness and warmth tied to it. As a result, often times we’re a product of our environment.
Change is required but how does one strive to achieve that? It has to be understood that love is an action and must be taught for it to be given to someone else. There has to be a teacher and student. Our Eternal Father is our Teacher. He modeled lessons through His Word for us to follow. This was pivotal for me. Yet, the need to see how love changes lives didn’t prepare me for the transformation that awaited.
We’re to be kind and patient. Not point out what is hurtful or short tempered because we can’t handle the time it takes to achieve what is desired. Love doesn’t envy or boast. It isn’t arrogant or rude. It doesn’t insist on its own way and it’s not selfish. It’s not irritable or resentful. It doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing. It rejoices in the truth.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (ESV Ephesians 4:29)
This doesn’t imply that all one believes to be truth should be spoken. Don’t be quick to point out someone’s appearance that doesn’t align with society’s expectations. But in the absence of direction, this construct can seem difficult to apply.
Therefore, not everyone is willing to try to love as He loves us. Some were never exposed to being loved. Some were hurt so badly they can’t see beyond their pain. Some grew tired of relentlessly trying to love the unlovable. It’s daunting. Nonetheless, we must continue to impart on others what God gives to us.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)
Being intentional about the choices we make is the only way to adhering God’s example. We must come to Him as a child, with an open heart, willing to allow ourselves to receive all that He wants to teach us. Change is difficult especially when altering something that has been woven into our DNA fabric. It’s been said that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I disagree! It’s absolutely possible. I know. I’m living proof of the masterpieces He creates!
Love is the most powerful existing force. It has shaped our lives. Kingdoms have risen and fallen. God Himself knew from the beginning of time He would sacrifice Jesus for us. His love is so profound and everlasting that He needed to save us from ourselves. Only through His example are we able to exemplify the essence of love. But we must allow ourselves to be guided by His Word. He’s guiding me in the way I should go. And because He loves me so, I won’t depart from Him. I need His LOVE!
He’s showing me that it’s OK to miss my mother’s love. I may never fully understand her heart and why she’s never changed. The harsh moments she endured but I’m certain that she did the best she could given her upbringing. I love her dearly and she’ll always be special to me. For as long as I live, I’ll honor her with His grace. I love you MOM!
As a parent’s love pierces their child’s heart, so does the Lord’s love pierces mine. Ultimately, He is our Father and I’m confident I’ll never be without His love. I trust Him implicitly! This by far helps me endure what I’ve missed most. It’s in the midst of this I’ve been able to taste and see His goodness. It’s yielding fruit never seizes to amaze me! I’m enough. There isn’t anything I can do to make Him stop loving me!
I’m not reminded of my faults. Instead He shows me how to correct them. Everyday I work on it so that I’m able to better love those around me. Yes, at times I don’t do so well. I’m not perfect. But I promise to try again. I’m thankful for His love. I’m not the woman I’d love to be. But I’m no longer who I used to be. His promises will always hold true!
Has the essence of His love transformed you?
Dear Lord Jesus, I’d be lost without Your amazing love! Thank You for Your willingness to show how to love and be loved. You’re the perfect example. Everything You’ve done has been in the name of love. It’s pure. It’s endless. It’s accepting. Help us to understand what it looks like. Paint us a mental image so we can connect with Your heart and build our lives upon Your amazing LOVE! Forgive us Lord when we hurt others and You in the process. Teach us. Mold us. Into Your beautiful masterpieces.
It is in Your Son’s Name Jesus Christ we pray. Song: Uncontainable Love
Amen.
God bless you and yours.
I love you.
In His Grip,