For the needy shall not always be forgotten, and the hope of the poor shall not perish forever.
(Psalm 9:18 ESV)
Committing murder doesn’t always render your residency behind steel bars within a state prison. Sometimes that takes place within the confinement of your heart. Your mind. Your soul. Surrendering to a hopeless sentencing with no acquittal in sight. You’ve tried to kill it off. Bludgeon it to death so that it wouldn’t be able to resurrect. But the more the dirt is poured over it, burying it, the more its limbs are fighting through the grave making every attempt to stay alive. But you hit it hard because it can’t occupy that space that you need to make available for future plans. God’s plans. To the places we pray He will take us to.
For years I’ve been waiting to be freed from it. But to no avail. It makes the attempt to disappear, but one thing continues to remain. No matter how hard I’ve tried to let it go, I’m relentlessly reminded of its will to live! Its will to thrive. Its will to be unstoppable. Its will to be undefeated. The challenges faced will not render it lost. Obliterated. It will find its way to surface despite all attempts to distinguish it. Hope. How can God work in me and use me if I can’t overcome this? It’s been crippling!
The worst conditions can’t erase the hope within.
I can’t speak for anyone else. For me, it has been a roller coaster. The uphill battle that sends me down the mountainside over and over again. How do I cope with this burning desire in my heart? How do I let it go? This hope that has made this situation feel hopeless. I want to believe this can’t last forever. It can’t be my life onward. I feel God has forgotten me, and therefore, I’m going to perish. I struggle to embrace the belief that I can conquer all things through Christ Jesus.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
(Matthew 5:4 ESV)
Throughout the years I’ve attempted to share glimpses of my broken heart to my Christian family. I was met with a myriad of reasons why I’m afflicted with this agonizing thorn. In my heart I know they meant well. Their responses, said with conviction and love, were meant to help me understand the inexplicable. But sadly it’s been a futile attempt.
It’s not a light switch that can be turned on and off. It’s not that I don’t have enough faith because the Word of God states all I need is faith as small as a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20). Another has said it is mind over matter. Once I can control my mind, the heart follows, and the situation is resolved. I’ll no longer have a stronghold over me. This darkness that looms over me is overwhelming and leaves me seeking refuge in isolation.
Jesus meets me and delivers hope in my lonely place.
But Jesus clearly said that those who mourn will be comforted. He never ever said we would live a wonderful and pain free life. He never promised that mourning would not afflict us. We will suffer from the choices we make. Even if some are for the Kingdom of God. We will suffer at the hands of others whose intent is to bring harm to us and possibly those we love. The enemy’s agenda is always aimed toward destruction (John 10:10). He does this strategically by causing division (Matthew 12:25). His tactics are to create offenses that over time become unsurpassable.
16For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.
(John 3:16-17 ESV)
We equate the broken pieces of our lives to God’s dissatisfaction of us. Many of us have pondered God’s love for us. I included. As a parent, it’s agonizing to witness my children suffer. My instincts are to provide, and see their sparkling eyes, grateful for a reprieve from anything I can offer to ease their suffering. I know. I’ve seen it. Unfortunately, I haven’t always been able to deliver. God wants to do the same for us. He’s always faithful and eager to be with us in all things. His unconditional love for us on earth is exemplified through the mercy, grace, forgiveness, fellowship, protection, provisions, and healing He gives us. And there’s so much more!
There are circumstances that God doesn’t deliver us from on this earth. I don’t know nor understand why. but I’m not called to understand. I’m called to trust Him in all things. This doesn’t negate the greatest gift He has given us. Eternal life. A place where we are all delivered from our earthly experiences. A place in Heaven seated with our Holy Father. Sometimes our suffering is viewed as being unloved by Him. How can that be? The One who not only created us, but also sent His Holy Son to be a living sacrifice, an atonement for our sins. Not His. But ours. A suffering beyond any human capacity to withstand. The greatest love we can ever experience is the love God has for us. A love offering the opportunity (because we can always say no) to choose eternity with Him. To be with our Creator. Our Father. Our Jesus Christ.
We are in this world but not of this world.
Eternal life is getting to know Him (John 17:1:3). Imagine the awe-struck experience of getting to know God! Our citizenship isn’t here on earth. It’s in Heaven where our names are written in the Book of Life (Revelation 3:5). Our hope is in Him and Him alone. Realizing the sacrifice, He made for us and how He suffered through it, just so that we can be saved from our sins and dwell with Him in Heaven reinforces that my hope isn’t in the situation I’m in. It’s in the One who offers it. Jesus.
And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.
(Psalm 39:7 ESV)
Emily Dickenson’s poem, “Hope Is The Thing With Feathers” is a metaphor derived from Psalms. Its major theme is centered on the human heart. A place where despair can be defeated by hope. Our circumstances, the countless tears, how far we travel, can be sustain by hope. It’s unabashed. Willing to be seen. Willing to be given. Freely given to us.
God in His amazing creation designed birds to have feathers enabling them to fly short and long distances. In addition, birds are exposed to all kinds of weather and their feathers shelter them from the harsh exposure in inclement weather. That protection helps keep them alive. Just as such, hope is life sustaining to us. It travels with us. It encourages us to move forward despite what we’re facing. We’re encouraged to seek Him, the One who holds it all in His hands. Jesus. It’s only found in Him. He’s the only One who can get us through the little things. The big things. The unimaginable.
Hope is our driving force to survival.
Understanding that in our own strength we can’t survive without the hope that God gives us. Just like a bird with wounded wings can’t fly, we can’t muster the strength to battle what is ready to destroy us. Broken relationships. Death. Illness. Financial hardship. Homelessness. Doubt. Fears. Tragedies. The only power we have is to be intentional to seek our Savior for strength, encouragement, and hope. He is the only One to save us. Furthermore, He wants to save us. That is why He chose to be sacrificed! For us!
Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me; and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.
(Jeremiah 17:14 ESV)
Our sufferings will prompt us to question God. Even get angry with Him. Finding it difficult to trust Him. Why does a loving God allow suffering? How is that love? Unanswered prayers. Sometimes we get to see a resurrection in our situation as it was seen with Lazarus (John 11:38-44) here in the land of the living. Other times, deliverance will have to wait until our arrival into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Nonetheless, what are we to do as we wait and hope? Seeking the One who I know is with me in all things has become my strength. My encouragement. My refuge. My fortress. My driving force to move forward and step into what He has for me. In my grief, I will worship Him. I will praise Him. I will tell others of His amazing love. I hope to bring glory to His Holy Name. I trust Jesus with all my heart. I know that I know, He’s good. He’s faithful. The Cross is all the confidence I need. It’s not over until it’s over. The Cross reminds my heart to trust in Him. Period.
I trust You because You love me first.
Healing does come. It just may not be what we imagine. It may not be here. It may be when we enter His glorious home. And we must be OK with that if we want to live here with His peace and joy. I’m finding that as I wait on Him, I’m being nourished by His presence every time I seek Him. Therefore, I choose to seek Him continuously so that I may never be apart from Him. I can’t do this life without Him. My hope is not in a human being. It’s not in the circumstances that wants to devour me. It’s not in what I see. It’s not in what I hear. It is only in the unseen. It’s in Jesus. And if I look close enough, I see Him all around me. Just look at the birds. The trees. He’s there!
In whom or what have you placed your hope?
Dear Lord Jesus, we humbly come to Your Throne of mercy and grace. Forgive us Lord for our sins. We’re so sorry for offending You when we don’t trust You. You’re the Beginning and the End. The Alpha and the Omega. How is it that we don’t choose You to be our beacon of hope, our pillar of strength escapes me. You’re all we have and all we need. Whether You deliver us here on earth or in Your Heavenly Kingdom, may we choose You. Whether it hurts a little or beyond despair, may we choose You. You’re our Ray of Light in all circumstances. Help us Lord see You when darkness falls on us, that we may rise in triumph. Use our suffering Lord for Your glory. Bless others by what we go through. Let hope arise from it so that others can see Your amazing love.
It is in Your Son’s Name Jesus Christ we pray. Song: You Alone
Amen! Into The Sea
God bless you and yours.
I love you.
In His Grip,